Unsolicited Advice #15: Deal with illness tastefully

When one finds herself laid up, whether with a head-banging injury or a nasty cold, it is tasteful to hide.  Don't try to go out with your friends and act as if the affliction is minor.  They can always tell that it is not and they will fret about you, removing the net benefit from your presence.

Instead, stay home with your dog and read a trashy 1920's society novel or some trashy 1990's non-fiction.  Sleep.  

Skip the Sudafed.  It will only induce you to write ill-advised emails and blog posts, and it might convince you that you are well enough to leave your house.  Which you should not do.

Illness is like pregnancy before 1965 - an affliction whose presence in society is unwelcome. This may explain your housemates' strange, unflattering clothing selections while ill.

Invite to Opine #2: Coffee Shop Judgement

If you saw a young woman in a coffee shop with a small but substantial stack of pink advice books and a little trove of page-flags furiously typing away on her laptop, what would you think?

a) She's clearly just been dumped/just realized that being single is a crime against the patriarchy/just been hassled by her mom about not being hitched.  She must be composing an internet dating profile in her desperate attempt to make it all better.

b) She's clearly procrastinating writing her thesis by reading those trashy books.

c) She's clearly writing an academic paper with some really horrible source material.

d) I'm going to go hit on her right now.

Unsolicited Advice #14: Be More Like the Sundance Kid

It is completely tasteful to crouch and mime fancy gunslinging while crossing streets or coming around corners.  Ignore the stares.  They're all just jealous.  

Consumer Frenzy #6

Delaunay scarf from Le Train Bleu: $169

Mid-century sterling silver TAXCO earrings from Green Gloves Vintage: $52

Strand textile necklace from Hier Apparel on Etsy: $45

Consumer Frenzy #5

Rachel Comey silk dress: $540

IvanaHelsinki Bird Printed Silk Scarf: $154
Kim White handbag: $170

Patawatomi bag from the Lucky Star Western Americana Gallery: $495

Breathless!

Some time in the 80's, Jim McBride remade Godard's Breathless for an American audience, and this evening one of this blog's authors had the opportunity to watch the second half of said film with her uncle.  There's a great scene where cop-killer Jesse Lujack (Richard Gere) and his hot French girlfriend Monica Poiccard (Valerie Kaprinsky) arrive at an 80's warehouse dance venue, the pigs in hot pursuit, in order to collect some cash that Jesse has coming.  Jesse's sleazy friend critiques the plaid pants he's been wearing throughout the second half of the film, urging him to acknowledge (even as the police search lights drag the room) that style is important, and hands him the blazer off his own back.  We couldn't agree more.  Without that blazer, where would Jesse Lujack be?  Dead, that's where.

Invite to Opine #1: Pants

Regular readers may have noticed that we hate pants.

However, we are willing to admit that there are occasions on which pants are tasteful.  Our comprehensive list follows:

Onboard a submarine

While big game hunting

Loyal followers are invited to proffer their proposals for the expansion of this list.  We'll consider them.

This post co-authored by Seaspawn and Seawrack and gander.