a) She's clearly just been dumped/just realized that being single is a crime against the patriarchy/just been hassled by her mom about not being hitched. She must be composing an internet dating profile in her desperate attempt to make it all better.
b) She's clearly procrastinating writing her thesis by reading those trashy books.
c) She's clearly writing an academic paper with some really horrible source material.
d) I'm going to go hit on her right now.
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