Showing posts with label honesty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label honesty. Show all posts

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Unsolicited Advice #21: How to develop and deliver an apology

When you have done something deeply wrong, for example picked a fight with your boyfriend at four AM, reparations are in order.  It is your responsibility to demonstrate that you have a scheme to avoid future peregrination down the path that led to your reprehensible behavior.

Step-by-step instructions:
  1. Stop it!
  2. Say you're sorry
  3. Set aside some time for self-reflection, either in solitude or in the company of a helpful friend (not the aggrieved party)
    • Identify the pattern of thought or deed that induced you, an otherwise kind and caring person, to comport yourself like a selfish fool
    • Describe that pattern in precise, nonjudgmental human language (i.e. "lack of compassion" not "being dumb as a stump")
    • Draw up a self-improvement plan that directly addresses the pattern in question*
  4. Express your contrition to the injured party again.  Take responsibility by laying out the etiological relationship between your unfortunate pattern and the crummy thing you did.
    • Consider sharing your self improvement plan with the target of your onslaught**

*The Dewey Decimal number for Self Help is 150.  The more enterprising, or less literate, might also look to hermit in a cave.

**User discretion is advised here. It is often unnecessarily self-indulgent to share your plan.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Character Assassination #2: Real! Live! Tastelessness!

"The ontological structure of our emotional lives is totally Buddhist inspired."

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Character Assassination #1: Shoes, rouge, and bikes

In the interest of developing a less judgmental tone here on the blog, we have decided to begin the painful process of disclosing our own tastelessness through attacks on our own aesthetic choices.

We are sometimes pretty tasteless here at Practical Aesthetics. We wear too much makeup in the daytime. We use blogger. We use drop bars, gears, and multiple sprockets. We think Denver is cooler than Portland and that Centralia is coolest of all. We go to psychobilly shows in sketchy warehouses and free klezmer shows at the community center. We ride the bus a lot. We carry our things around in canvas bags. We dress inappropriately for the weather. Most days at least one article we’re wearing needs mending. We get our knees muddy, tear the inseam of our right pant legs, get grease on our cuffs, and generally sully our appearances, all without taking the time to change or wash. We bike and text and talk on cell phones on the bus. We are tactless in our questions, in our answers, and in our correspondence. We use facebook. We are unabashedly political about almost everything. We dance like hippies in the 1990’s. We wear too much cologne. We talk too loudly on the street and in restaurants. We sometimes don’t bathe often enough. We wear cowboy boots with men’s 1980’s shorts and those god-awful athletic socks from the 1970’s with dresses. We both own Patty Loveless’ bluegrass album and play it regularly. Sometimes we bring books on dates, just in case. We still like Calvin Johnson’s “Loose Banana.” We wait tables dressed like prom queens, drag queens, and 1950’s housewives on dolls. We show up at our office jobs in ridiculously frilly little dresses, children’s clothes, socks with holes, and last night's makeup still smeared on our faces. We bike in high heels.

The most tasteless thing we do, however, is refer to each other as “my best friend.” We’re 27, folks. And we still have best friends. Nothing could be more pre-pubescent. Except if we wore side ponytails. Which we do.