Unsolicited Advice #7:Be More Like John Wayne

Hip-slung belts, especially when colorful or gaudy are totally tasteful.  Strap one on.

Consumer Frenzy #2: Objets

I recently stumbled across the website for Objets Plus New York, which offers at discreetly unspecified prices, an enchanting collection of antique furnishings.

An unusual globe iron fixture with cut out scalloped shapes suspended from 4 iron rods, with 5 arms plus a center light,as is, Continental mid 20th century, wired for electricity

A highly unusual rusted Art Deco period iron stand on 4 legs, Continental

A Dutch Baroque period walnut and mahogany deux corps cabinet, with diamond pattern veneer, serpentine commode base with 3 drawers (with one hidden drawer below) and upper 2 door cabinet with an open pediment top, mid 18th century


A Napoleon III period low chair, round back and round seat, gilt and polychrome decoration on a black background, scalloped apron, antique upholstery, Continental, c.1880, as is

Fabric Necklaces

Danny Mansmith textile necklace.

Ruff from an Elizabethan costume designed by William Ivey Long.

Make a textile necklace from vintage upholstery fabric.  The simpler your design, the better, though consider adding texture with seams or embedded wires, as in the Elizabethan ruff.  

Dresses

As someone who wears dresses and skirts most days, this arbiter of taste would like to weigh in on the comments characterizable by the phrase "Oh, I love to see a girl in a dress."

It's tasteless. I'd love to see you in a dress, Buddy.

I'm looking fine today because I want to, not because I want you to be pleased by my conformist femininity.

Unsolicited Advice #7: Cite the Economy

Blame "the recession economy" for all poor fashion, relationship problems, and purchasing mistakes.

It's the new "mercury in retrograde."

Unsolicited Advice #6: Internet Stalking

While tempting, ultimately unavoidable, and rewarding, stalking new lovers on the internet is totally tasteless.

Never admit to having done it.  This exercise in post-hoc self control is especially important since you inevitably find that their prose styling is profoundly disappointing.  It's better to pretend not to know.

Tasteless Flaunting

Bumper stickers are at very best minimally tasteless. But the perfusion of round, bubble lettered, grotesquely-cute-figured bumper stickers proclaiming that "Life is good" fulfill every criterion of tastelessness we know.

While we certainly condone flaunting curvaceous earlobes, flouncy hips, and delicate ankles, we do not condone flaunting privilege. The issue here is similar to the distinction in tastefulness between costume jewelry (eminently tasteful) and gaudy displays of precious gems (horribly tasteless). If you have the strange fortune to live in the most-consuming country in the world and drive an SUV (or wear t-shirts, or do anything really), for golly's sake don't proclaim in stupid bubble letters that "Life is good."